


She's In The Rain // c. h.

by legendaryjuls



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-27
Updated: 2019-07-01
Packaged: 2020-02-07 10:15:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18618568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/legendaryjuls/pseuds/legendaryjuls
Summary: in which hyungwon is a barista at y/n favorite coffee shop.





	1. O N E

**Author's Note:**

> Hi I'm really glad that you decided to read this. Now i'm not sure if I should put a trigger warning or not, but just for your own saftey i'm leaving one. 
> 
> in this story you can find topic such as divorce, fear of failure and fighting parents. 
> 
> if you continue to read, i hope you enjoy!
> 
> p.s.: english is not my first language so i apologize for any mistakes :)

Prologue  
October 24

It’s nothing new, the autumn rain is hitting the window heavily. The music in the background is accompanied by the sound of the raindrops hitting the shop window. People are passing by hiding under umbrellas, trying to get home as soon as possible. Hyungwon doesn’t like this kind of weather, to be honest he hates it. It’s getting colder and october is already coming to an end, which means there will be approximately at least another five months without the warm spring sun in his face. The small café is quiet, not many people find their way inside, most people actually don’t even realise it exists, when passing by. So this gives Hyungwon the time to watch the people outside the little shop. He knows he will not be home before one in the morning and it frustrates him, especially because he spent the whole night studying and is now running on coffee and energy drinks. The small bell rang, which makes Hyungwon snap out of his thoughts and look up only to find you standing there. The yellow raincoat looks far to bright for the small café with the dim lights. You went up to the counter, while you pushed back the hood and give Hyungwon a glance on your hair, which is actually a mess, but you couldn’t care less.  
“The usual?”, he asked and you nodded. Hyungwon saw you quite often in the café since it became your second home - at least for the evenings, when you just couldn’t stand the fight between your parents anymore.   
“How are you today?”, he asked and you smiled at him while you gave him the money to pay for the tea and the muffin. You always found it nice of him to ask, even when you weren’t a regular yet he build up little conversation if the café wasn’t to busy.   
“I’m fine.”, you answered and smiled again, even though you were not. Deep inside you hoped he would see through your mask, but that’s not the case. You already perfected it, since you didn’t want anyone to worry about you or even think of you as a burden. Hyungwon smiled at that and handed you the small tablet.   
“Enjoy.”, he said and you thanked him before you made your way to your favorite spot in the corner near the window and put it on the table. Hyungwon smiled at your habit of always choosing this table, he watched as you pulled the book out of the pocket before you hung the jacket over the back of the chair. While sitting down you already opened the book and almost immediately glued your eyes to the pages. Reading always helped calming you down when you were a mess inside. It gave you the ability to just escaped from reality and forget about the constant fight of your parents and the harsh words they throw at each other or worse - you. It was just too much to take sometimes and reading was what you needed, maybe also someone to talk, but reading was definitely easier. 

Hyungwon watched you for a while, he wondered why you’d come here all the time, since he would rather spend his evening alone at the dorms or with his roommate Hoseok. He remembers clearly when you stumbled in for the first time almost a year ago, you were laughing loudly with your friends, while telling them the embarassing story of how you escaped the lecture like a not so elegant ninja. At the time Hyungwon didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but he also couldn’t stop listening since you were talking really loud as well. He hasn’t seen you that lively for a while and he only notices now. You also never brought back your friends, you were always alone and he keeps wondering why.   
“You’ve got it bad, huh?”, his coworker and friend Changkyun said and pulled up an eyebrow, the smirk on his face was undeniable - he knew.   
“No.”, Hyungwon answered and lied right then and there. He admitted it to himself a while ago, but he couldn’t bring himself to actually make a step towards you, since he was afraid to get rejected, but then on the other hand you looked lonely and he didn’t want you to look lonely. For some reason Hyungwon couldn’t stand the fact that you might be lonely. A groan escaped his lips. He got it really bad, really really bad for you.   
“Yeah, right.”, Changkyun laughed and went back into the kitchen to finish some more sandwiches. The door to the shop opened again and a group of people entered, making Hyungwon realise where he is and that he is actually here to make money.


	2. T W O

The Evening   
October 26

The moment you opened the door and took a step inside you almost expected to hear them fight again, but there was nothing. The house was silent. Thank god, you thought to yourself and put down the violin case, while removing the scarf from your neck. After getting rid of your shoes and jacket, you grabbed the violin case, as well as your backpack and made your way up to your room. When you passed the kitchen, your mum was standing behind the stove and didn’t even notice you.  
“Hi Mum.”, you said and she jumped a little and spun around.   
“Oh hey, love.”, was all she said, before she turned back again. She didn’t even ask how your day went, but what were you expecting, she probably had a lot of things on her mind. Still, you thought, it would have been nice if she did. You left the kitchen and went up to your room, glad that you had some time for yourself before dinner. You thought it was quite strange, even though your parents were fighting they insisted on having dinner together. It didn’t make sense to you, why would they want to have dinner together, when they can’t even stand each other. You thought about moving out, but the rent for a place is expensive and it’s hard to find one, so you just decided it would be the best option to stay home as long as possible. That was until your parents started to fight more frequently. It wasn’t this bad from the start, it just became worse as it carried on over the months, when every move became a reason to fight. As soon as you put down your violin case you threw yourself face down on the bed. A groan escaping your lips, you were tired. The day wasn’t exactly easy with the orchestra rehearsals going on and the solo that was yet to be prepared for the christmas concert of your university. You didn’t tell your parents about the solo, because you know their expectations would become incredibly high. Ever since you started to learn the violin they always pushed you to give it your all and when you failed at a competition they weren’t happy about it, saying you simply didn’t practice enough. It always made you sad, especially because you ditched so many afternoons that you could have spend with friends to practice instead and still it felt as if this was not enough. Over time you became desperate to prove yourself to your parents, to prove, that you are not just a failure, that you are not only a second place. It worked eventually for a short time, when you won your first competition, your parents seemed proud for the first time. All of their friends knew about it, but as soon as the next competition came around and you became second again, it was all gone. With the passing of time you decided that you wouldn’t do it just for your parents, you decided for yourself, that you want to give it your all, but still it hurt, when you saw the disappointment in their eyes. The moment your mother called you downstairs for dinner, was the moment you wished to just disappear. Even though you didn’t want to, you pushed yourself up and went downstairs. Both of your parents already sat at the dinner table avoiding each others gaze. When you finally sat down, your father began to eat. There wasn’t much conversation happening during dinner, there never was, so you were surprised when you heard your mother's voice.   
“So how was work, honey?”, she asked and you bit your lip, already feel that they were going to fight again. Yesterday it was quiet, since your Dad had to work late and they didn’t really spoke to each other.   
“It was busy.”, was all he answered, focused on his dinner.   
“Ah yeah, as always.”, she signed and looked at you. Oh no, you thought, now she’s gonna ask me.   
“And how was yours?”, she gave you a small smile and you returned it.   
“It was exhausting, but we had a lot of fun in rehearsal.”, you told her and put another piece of food into your mouth.   
“Oh, isn’t the christmas performance soon? Did they give out the solos?”, you didn’t think she would actually remember, since they haven’t been to a performance in years, but that was because you didn’t get solo parts. Would it change if you told them? Yes. Would it pressure you even more? Yes.   
“Uh, yeah it’s in december.”, you said and went back to eating.   
“And did you get any solos this time?”, your mother kept asking, for a brief moment your father stopped eating and looked straight into your eyes. There were lots of thoughts in your head, you didn’t want to tell them that you actually got a solo, but wouldn’t they find out anyway?  
“Yeah, i did.”, you mumbled and went back to eating. It’s no big deal, you kept saying to yourself. It’s no big deal.  
“No way! I thought it would never happen again.”, your mother smiled.   
“Yeah, after what happened two years ago, I wouldn’t give you any.”, your father threw in the room, you already regretted telling them about it.  
“You don’t need to bring that up again, it’s only gonna discourage her and then she will fail again.”, your mother fired back and you just pressed your lips together.  
“Oh come on, I know she’ll manage it, but she might actually need to practice more then.”, he put in another fork of mashed potatoes in his mouth. It’s gonna start again, you thought to yourself.   
“You’re always so discouraging towards your own child.”, these words from your mother’s mouth made you bite your lip. She hasn’t been the most encouraging person either so why would she stand up for you now. It didn’t made any sense and it annoyed you. She probably didn’t care, all she did was looking for another reason to fight. Wasn’t she?  
“Oh come on, who told her own daughter that she is a disappointment, when she didn’t win the first competition?”, your father brought up, as you continued the dinner. So the fight topic of the day was you - again. And that’s when you felt that stupid feeling creeping up again - the feeling of guilt. It hung over you like a shadow or a dark cloud. Maybe if you wouldn’t be such a failure, they wouldn’t fight over it. You knew they fought over a lot of things, but whenever you were involved in the fight, you felt miserable. You felt like the cause of all this, when you really were not.   
“Well there was some ambition to be build up, without ambition no one gets anywhere and look what happened after a win.”, your mother said as if you were not at the table with them. As if you didn’t even exist.   
“Yeah, but you know there are different ways to do so, instead of telling a seven year old that they are a disappointment, when that was just the first competition!”, you quickly decided that this was enough.  
“Oh yeah and look what happend after the first win, a fail followed.”, your mother said and took a sip from her wine.   
“It felt like after that everything went downhill, fail after fail.”   
“Oh come on, Seong-Hyeon. Can’t you show at least a little bit of empathy? No wonder we’re fighting all the time.”, your father put the fork down and glared at your mother.   
“Oh so it’s my fault again?”, she said and put her wine glass down and that’s when you decided to leave. You excused yourself, went up to your room, grabbed your jacket and a bag, and left the house without another word.


	3. T H R E E

The Night  
October 26

Tired, that’s what Hyungwon felt when he was dressing himself back into normal clothes. He had a hard afternoon shift, because the small coffee shop was busier than usual. His feet hurt and his stomach demanded something to eat. Since he forgot to buy groceries he simply decided to get stuff from the shop since he gets it for free anyway. When he left the employee room, he went back to the café just to see you standing there, frantically looking through your pockets, your order already in front of you.   
“I’m so sorry.”, you said as you gave up looking through your pockets.  
“I think I forgot my wallet.” Hyungwon didn’t really think before he stepped forward and smiled at his other co-worker Kihyun, who seemed to be quite annoyed today.  
“It’s alright, I’m gonna pay for this order as well.”, when you turned around having a surprised look on your face, he gave you a quick smile. To be completely honest he found it cute, how your eyes were wide and a small smile forming on your lips - maybe his heart was beating a tad faster too.   
“Oh, thank you so much.”, you said not able to believe how kind the boy actually is.   
“Don’t worry, about it.”, he said before he ordered a tuna sandwich and some iced tea.   
“Well, I’m gonna pay you back for sure, when I’ll be here next time.”, you said while you took the tablet with your order, not able to stop the smile spreading on your lips.   
“Oh no, that’s fine you’re here quite a lot. So see it as a treat from the shop.” Hyungwon said, he really didn’t mind to pay for your order, since he will get his for free anyway. You had no idea what to do next and you were quite surprised by the words leaving your mouth.   
“Oh, well do you maybe...uh....want to sit with me then? As a form of payback?”, you said thinking to yourself how stupid that sounded. He probably didn’t even want your company, maybe it was just out of kindness or because he was annoyed that he had to wait.   
“Not that you have to though! I mean, it’s fine if you want to eat by yourself instead if I annoy you. Sorry, I just…”, you ramble on but Hyungwon shook his head.   
“I would like that very much.”, he simply answered and took his order with him. He found it incredibly cute, how you were stumbling over your own words and at this point his heart rate probably was not healthy anymore. Hyungwon followed you to your favorite table and put his order down, before he threw his coat over the back of the chair and sat down across from you. He watched as you put your hands around the cup of green tea to warm them up, he took a sip from his iced tea before he spoke up.  
“Don’t you have a book with you today?” He smiled while saying these words and it caught you off guard. He payed attention to what you were doing? Well, considering you’re here quite often it shouldn’t surprise you, but somehow it did. You just weren’t used to it anymore, that someone was interested in what you are doing.   
“Oh I do, but it would be quite rude to read, while actually having company.”, you answered a little later, while letting go of the cup.   
“Well, that’s true, but I just thought I ask, since you read quite a lot here.” He smiled again, before he took a bite of his sandwich. The blush which crept up on your cheeks made Hyungwon’s heartbeat a little faster, he really was whipped and there was no denying.  
“Ah yeah, you’re right.”, you said still flustered and took a sip from your tea. Hyungwon watched as you put down your cup again and folded your hands together in your lap. Your reaction surprised him, he never thought about that it maybe sounded weird. Maybe it was creepy? Maybe he shouldn’t have said anything? He felt a little stupid for bringing it up, but there was no turning back now. He was kind off clueless in what to say next, so he just took a bite from his sandwich.  
“Do you read a lot as well?”, you asked after you collecting yourself again. You didn’t know why it took you by surprised that he noticed it, but it felt nice.   
“Oh yeah, I have to read a lot for university, but i fairly enjoy it.” Hyungwon answered and supported his head with his hands.   
“Ah, that sounds nice. What kind of books do you read?”, you questioned while taking a bite from your muffin.   
“Will you promise me not to laugh?” He looked you in the eyes and you nodded. Why would you ever laugh at something like that? Everyone has a different taste in books, as well as music. It’s not like something you can make fun off. The little nod from you was enough for Hyungwon to smile a little.  
“I read a lot of classic german literature.” He got many different reactions to that sentence, a lot of people just looked at him questioning while others where laughing, wondering why he would ever read something like that, which resulted in him not telling many people about it.   
“You speak german then?” You always wanted to learn more than just Korean and English, but your parents said it’s all you need to get through abroad.   
“Yeah, I choose to learn it after I lived there for a few months.”, Hyungwon said, happy about that you showed interest.   
“That must have been amazing! I always wanted to go abroad for a bit, but it never happened.” A wide smile spread on your face and Hyungwon couldn’t stop himself from thinking that this is one of the most beautiful things he’s ever seen.   
“Why not?”, he asked, determined to get to know you better.   
“I don’t really know actually, I guess I just missed my chance.”, you shrugged. You had the chance once, when you were seventeen and a music school from Austria wanted to take you into their program, but your parents decided that you should attend a music school here in Korea since they wanted to have you close as their only child.   
“It’s never too late, you can always start.”, Hyungwon said reassuring, and you kinda felt like you could in that short moment, when in reality you couldn’t you had another year of university in front of you and until then it won’t happend, but maybe after or when you become the famous violinist your parents wanted you to be from the start.   
“I guess I could, but right now I can’t. I still have a year of university left and then god knows what will happen.”, you sighed thinking about how your parents probably use their connections to get you to an orchestra if you don’t qualify for being a soloist. Would you ever be good enough for a soloist? Will you actually manage to get through the christmas concert without screwing up? Will the work you are willing to put in be enough? Will you be enough? Hyungwon watched you as you seemed to trail off in thought. He watched how you furrowed your brows and how the little wrinkles on your forehead appeared, as if you were disturbed by something.   
“So what are you reading at the moment?”, he asked since he didn’t want to dig any further because he couldn’t stand seeing you like this. You quickly came back from your thoughts and reached for your bag.   
“Will you promise me not to laugh?”, you asked while tilting your head, while grabbing the book and placing it in your lap.   
“I would never.”, he threw a wink at you and you slowly revealed the cover of the book.   
“To All The Boys I Loved Before?”, he read out loud, while he grabbed the book from your hands to read the small description in the back.   
“Yeah, I know it’s a bit weird, but i really like young adult literature to relax my brain.”, you explained and Hyungwon smiled at you.   
“Oh? But isn’t there a movie out already?”, he asked and you nodded.   
“Yeah, but i wanted to see if the book is good. Plus, there is a sequel.”, you smiled and Hyungwon gave you the book back.   
“Can I borrow it, after you finnished it?” This made your smile widen and Hyungwon felt a warm feeling in his belly area, he loved the way your eyes lit up and he promised himself that he would try to get your eyes to sparkle as often as possible.   
“Sure.”, you answered and Hyungwon felt a relief, because it meant you were going to stay in contact with each other. After that you chatted the night away and didn’t even realise that it was getting really late, so when you checked your phone your eyes widened.   
“Oh god, I need to get home. It’s already way to late.”, you said and looked over to Hyungwon who was also looking at the time.   
“I guess it is.”, he said and helped you in you with your coat.   
“Thank you for everything, Hyungwon.”, you said and surprised not only him, but also yourself with the hug you were giving him. You quickly let go and waved goodbye, before you headed home with flushed cheeks. What you didn’t knew was that Hyungwon still stood frozen with rosy cheeks staring at the tablet, before he grabbed them and brought them to the counter.   
“Changkyun wasn’t lying, you are really whipped for her.” Kihyun looked at him with a smug expression.   
“About time you made a move.”, he teased but Hyungwon rolled his eyes.   
“I’ll see you tomorrow!”, he said and left the small little café as well.


	4. F O U R

Late Afternoon  
October 29

You stood in the small room eyes focusing on the window, where you could see the opposite side of the building. You wish it would be over, you wish you could finally go home. This afternoon was beyond the point of tiering. Your music teacher let you repeat the piece over and over again, pointing out all the mistakes you made in the process.   
“I can’t feel any emotion coming from you.”, your music teacher said and you turned your head towards him.   
“I know you work hard on perfecting your skills, but you also need emotion.”, he said and you nodded, not able to say anything. You knew you needed to put in emotion, but you restrained yourself from it, fearing it would give away how it looked in the inside. You didn’t want to show the people how much the harsh words of your parents hurt, how your self esteem gets crushed every time they tell you that you do not work hard enough, the feeling of just wanting to escape from home every time they fight. It’s a lot and the more you think about it the more you can feel your heart aching. You just had to work harder.   
“Again.”, your music teacher said and you put up your bow and you tried, you forced yourself to think about sad movie scenes to get emotion, but your teacher wasn’t satisfied. You stopped when he raised his hand. The familiar feeling of disappointment rose in your chest again and you looked towards the ground. Why couldn’t you just get it right, why do you always disappoint the people around you. Hyungwon came to your mind, you said you would be there the next day, but ever since you told your parents about your solo they made you stay in to practice, watching over you with hawk eyes till your fingers hurt to much to continue. He for sure must be disappointed as well. This was a mess, all of this was a mess.   
“Look, (Y/N). I don’t know what your problem is, but you need to fix this.”, your teacher said and you nodded.   
“It feels like you don’t even want this solo.” Those words hit deep, because you weren’t sure anymore and it made you face the question you tried to avoid for the past few days. Why are you doing it? Who are you doing it for? You can’t really answer it, because yes you want to do well for your own sake and in hopes that it’ll make your parents stop fighting. Which still doesn’t answer the second question. Who are you doing it for? For you, you doing it for you, so you needed to get your shit together and put in more work.   
“I’m sorry. I’ll work harder.”, I answer and hold onto my bow tighter.   
“(Y/N), by all means, I don’t think that’s what you’ll need to do.”, your teacher said while getting up.   
“You need to find something to hold onto, something that will give you the ability to grab onto an emotion. Do you know what I mean?”, he asked and turned around, you looked up. Not really sure if you understood his words right.   
“Because a sheet of music is just a sheet of music. What makes the piece mesmerising is the emotion you put into it. You want the audience to leave the concert with a lingering feeling, it doesn’t matter which one, because the emotion you put into the piece is the message that people who listen carry into the world.”, his arms were crossed in front of his chest, whilst he looked at you.   
“So make sure you choose an important message.” He looked down on his watch and back up at you.   
“We’re gonna end the lesson a bit earlier, you can pack your things.”, he said with a gentle smile, he was already in his late fifties and counted as your one and only supporter in the your major. You really liked him, since he always encouraged you to become better. As soon as you’re all packed up, you head to the door saying your goodbyes.   
“(Y/N), think about it.”, your teacher said before you could walk out the door completely You turned around and nodded, before leaving the little room. 

While walking towards the exit you were fiddling with your phone, typing a message to your father saying that your lesson ended earlier and asking when he’ll be there to pick you up. It wasn’t your idea, but since he offered you couldn’t really say no, since you’ll be able to go straight to practice after the lesson so you can revise the lesson and fix the mistakes. You really weren’t looking forward to it. The past two days were filled with endless repeats of the same part and by now you already don’t need the sheet music anymore, because it’s already engraved in your brain. You walked down the stairs towards the street, when you saw your fathers car parked at the side of the road. You took a deep breath, you definitely weren’t looking forward to this evening because of the constant nagging while practicing, it didn’t motivate you it only brought you down, wishing for it to end sooner. The closer you got to the car the slower you walked, looking through the windshield seeing your father's hand buried in blond hair and kissing the person passionately. You stopped dead in your tracks. Your mother had dark brown hair. Tears welled up on your eyes. It wasn’t your mum in the car kissing your dad, it was a professor of yours. You desperately wanted to look away, you wanted to move and ban the pictures forever, but you just couldn’t. In this moment you swore you heard your heart shutter into pieces. He was seeing another woman, behind your mothers back, behind your back. Did he just fall out of love? Your eyes met. He looked surprised for a second, maybe even shocked. His hand nervously went through his hair and you looked over at your professor, the shock on her face was prominent. You closed your eyes for a second, when you heard car doors open and closing. You couldn’t do this, you couldn’t face him or your professor. You just wanted to forget about this, steps coming closer. No. You didn’t want to do this, so you shook yourself awake and started to run.


	5. Chapter 5

The Evening  
October 29

His eyes were fixated towards the door everytime a new customer entered, hoping it was you, but you never came. Hyungwon wasn’t disappointed, at least not really, you surely had your reasons for not coming to the cafe, but with you being there almost every evening he got worried. What if something has happened to you? What if you got kidnapped or injured? He knew he was being ridiculous here but he couldn’t stop himself.   
“Dude, you got to stop staring every customer dead in the eye when they come in.”, Kihyun said and leaned against the counter. The afternoon was slow and Kihyun was almost done with his shift, whilst Hyungwon had to work for another two hours before Changkyun came for the late night shift.  
“Oh - shut it.” Hyungwon said looking at Kihyun, while crossing his arms.   
“God you’re even moodier when you’re lovesick.”, he shot back and Hyungwon rolled his eyes.   
“I am not love sick.”, he said and raised an eyebrow.   
“Yes you are, i could basically see you go heart eyes for that girl.”, Kihyun smirked, whilst Hyungwons hand went through his hair.   
“And you go basically heart eyes for Changkyun, so shut up.”, it wasn’t his best comeback but he couldn’t care less since the door to the café opened and revealed a pretty messy you. The moment you locked eyes with Hyungwon you gave him an apologetic smile, at least you tried to, knowing full well it must have looked like a grimace. Your mind was still clouded and chaotic from the things you saw and the tears that only stopped minutes ago, when you actually forced yourself to stop the crying, since it doesn’t help you in that situation. It never does, but still you could feel your heart ache. Usually you never came to the cafe with your violin case or uni stuff, because you didn’t want to ruin your safe haven, but you literally had no other choice or no other idea where to go. So here you were, completely done with the day. Hyungwon scanned you up and down, you seemed out of breath and far away. You collected yourself and walked up to the counter. Hyungwon wanted to ask if you’re ok, but he could see you clearly weren’t so he didn’t instead he smiled at you and said what he always said: “The usual?” You nodded, you felt bad for not stopping by the last few days and you wanted to explain it to him, but you didn’t want to drag him into this mess. You didn’t want him to see you like that. Completely and utterly broken, you knew for yourself that it wasn’t healthy to keep it in, but you couldn’t stand to bother people with your problems. Especially because you don’t want to ruin your loved ones day just because you didn’t feel well. You handed Hyungwon the cash and went to your table only to see people already sitting there, which shouldn’t bother you but on a day like this, it did, but what could you do? It’s not like you owned that table. So you just settled to the one next to them. Hyungwon was watching you closely by preparing your drink, you seemed so out of it and it bothered him, especially because the smile you gave him looked so damn sad and lifeless, that he wished he could just sit down with you and talk it all out. Since he knew he couldn’t do that, he took a napkin and left a little message. Once the order was done and Hyungwon called out your name you came to get your order, giving him a sad smile and a quiet thank you. When you reached your table you put the tablet down and took a look on your phone. It showed six missed calls from your dad, various messages and four missed calls from your mum. You flipped your phone around not wanting to read any of the messages your father sent you. You didn’t want an explanation. Of course this was somewhat unfair but you didn’t wanna hear it, you didn’t wanna hear what he has to say afraid of how much it could hurt you. Hurt you even more than their fights. You looked at your food, not knowing why you bought it in the first place since you weren’t hungry. You took down the cup from the tablet and put it to your lips, burning your mouth when you took a sip, but you didn’t care. When you put your cup down you catched a glimpse of the napkin and some sloppy handwriting. You took a closer look and read it quietly to yourself: “What do turtles use to communicate? A shellphone!” This was beyond the point of bad, it really was but you couldn’t stop yourself from smiling like an absolute fool. This little gesture just made everything seem not so bad, you looked over to Hyungwon who was looking towards you as well and held up the napkin with the smile still plastered on your face. You decided you at least could use it to catch up on your courses, you just wanted to be distracted it doesn’t matter what it was as long as it didn’t had to do with your father. So you got out the notes you took in class that day and started reading through it, copying them into a neater handwriting just to memorize them, but somewhat all your brain could think about was that napkin in your pencil case.


	6. S I X

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's been quite some time, but i finally have a new chapter ready to read. I hope you enjoy!

**The Night**

**_October 29_ **

 

Hyungwon was done with his shift, it was already past 9pm and he doesn’t think he got changed that fast ever. He put down his uniform, changed into normal clothes and went up to the counter to get his order, that was already waiting. 

“Desperate are we?”, Changkyun teased and pulled up an eyebrow. Hyungwon looked at the younger one and let out a sighn.

“When will you and Kihyun finally stop that.” Hyungwon said and grabbed his coffee. He looked over to you where you were, just to find you shutting your textbook and laying your head onto it. 

“Never and now you should go and be the prince in shining armour.” The soft smile on Changkyuns lips made Hyungwon finally grab the other cup and walk towards your table. You didn’t even notice him, your thoughts were occupied with the events from the afternoon. Studying  became impossible since not even the heavy and difficult language of your textbooks got your mind occupied long enough to not think about the lips of your professors on your fathers, about the hand in his hair and you couldn’t stop thinking about what would have happened if you hadn’t seen them? Would they have gone further? Since when are they even seeing each other? Did your mother know? All those questions are giving you a headache and you wished for it to never have happened. Not particularly the affair - no, just the fact that you’ve had to see it with your own eyes. 

“I’m sorry.”, a voice brought you back to reality and you looked up just to see Hyungwon standing there with two cups and his backpack hanging over his shoulders. 

“But is this seat taken?”, he asked with a soft voice and you shook your head, surprised by the sudden company. He put down the cup in front of you and let himself fall in the seat across from you, while you were just watching him, not really knowing what to say. You didn’t really expected him for still wanting to be around you after not showing up. It wasn’t your fault, but that didn’t stop you from being guilty. 

“I’m sorry.”, you blurted out while Hyungwon took a sip from his coffee, he quickly put it down again and furrowed his brows in confusion. 

“For what?”, he asked and you pushed your hands through your hair. 

“For not coming to the coffee shop the past few days.”, you said and realised for yourself how stupid that once again sounded. It’s not like he would get worried over you or something, you only really talked once and that’s ridiculous. 

“You’re not obligated to come here, Y/N.”, he laughed and you burried your head in your hands, feeling the heat rising into your cheeks. God it was so embarrassing and you wished for yourself to disappear. 

“Nevertheless, I appreciate it, even though there is nothing to apologize for.”, he said leaning over petting your head lightly and smiling. You realised that it maybe he didn’t miss you but you for sure did, because ever since that night you can’t stop thinking about how understood you felt. You knew this was something called a crush that probably got deeper by any second you spent with him and you weren’t sure if it was a good thing or not. You were still surprised by his action and looked at him a bit bewildered, which he on the other hand thought was extremely cute. 

“Is the studying though on you today?”, he asked and pointed to your books and you nodded your head. It’s an excuse, but even though he gave you a feeling of security you promised yourself to not drag him into this mess that was your life, you just wanted to enjoy the time you had with him. 

“It’s just, I feel like nothing stays in my head - like - at all.”, you said and pushed your books aside. 

“Well maybe you should rest then, it’s already late and I’ve seen you working hard.” Hyungwon said and took another sip from his coffee, whilst your cheeks heat up even more. It’s bad, you thought to yourself. You got it bad. The fact that he still shoots glances at you while working made you beyond flustered. 

“Tell me about your day.”, you asked, since this whole conversation seemed to be about you and you didn’t want that. 

“Well, there is nothing much I can tell you. I went to university, handed in my assignment, suffered through the lectures and went to work, but now I’m in good company which makes up for it.”, he smiled and tilted his head. 

“How about yours?”, he asked and your smile faded, not really sure what to tell him. How much you could tell him, without telling him lies. Lies are always meant to come to the surface at some point. So there is no point, you looked at him trying to figure out what to tell him or how much to tell him. 

“You know, you don’t have to talk about it, really.”, Hyungwon reassured you. 

“You just looked really exhausted today, so I thought I might offer to listen. Since it usually helps to talk about it.” How could a person be so extremely sweet, you thought to yourself. He barely knew you but he still offered to listen to your concerns. So you thought you could just tell him a tiny bit. 

“It’s just, we have a christmas concert coming up and I don’t really know how to feel about it.”, you said and smiled nervously at him. 

“Oh why? Are you nervous?”, he asked and you nodded. 

“Yeah, well because you know I have to do well.”, you explained and fiddled with your fingers. 

“You will.”, Hyungwon said, and smiled at you. 

“But what if I won’t? What if I fail?”, you said voice small. This thought was always prominent, because this was the only way your parents would ever recognise you and praise you. Even though you’re already an adult technically, you still strived for their recognition. 

“Why would you?”, Hyungwon asked and put his cup down. 

“Because somehow I always do.”, you blurted out, pulling the sleeves of your sweater over your hands. 

“I don’t believe that.”, he said and reached out for your hands. 

“And you shouldn’t believe that either.” Hyungwon grabbed your hands and you looked up, seeing a tiny layer of blush on his cheeks. His heart was racing and so was yours, he nervously looked away, not letting go of your hands. His words made you feel warm, it made you feel like it was okay, for now at least. It took Hyungwon a bit to regain the courage to look back at you, slowly letting go of your hands. 

“You know, if you ever need someone to listen to you practice. I’m not an expert, god I’m far from that, but I’ll listen.”, he said and your lips parted. 

“You would?”, his words took you by surprise, but you felt that warmth spread through your body. 

“Yeah, I mean, I’d actually love to hear you play.”, Hyungwon admitted and smiled. Your hands went through your hair, the nervous and excited feeling not leaving your body. 

“I guess I could do that then.”, you responded and smiled, both of you looking at each other. Only interrupted by the vibrating sound of your phone on the table. You wanted to ignore it, but it wouldn’t stop, so you flipped it over and looked at the caller ID. It was your mom that was calling and you bit your lip, not sure if you wanted to answer her. You knew you were in trouble for not coming home, at the same time you wondered what your father told her. You wondered if she knew. Hyungwon watched you tense up the moment you saw who called, and he wanted to do nothing more than hold your hand, to help you relax. 

“You should answer it.”, he said instead and watched you hesitate. After holding onto your phone for another while you finally gathered up enough courage to pick up. 

“Y/N, where in gods name are you?! Do you know what time it is?”, you could hear that angry tone in her voice, which made it clear that once you stepped foot in your house, all hell would break lose. 

“I’m still out.”, you answered avoiding Hyungwons curious gaze. 

“What do you mean you’re still out? Where are you? Your father is going to pick you up.”, she said and you sighned. 

“No, there is no need for that. I’m walking home.”, you said, because the last thing that you want is to be confronted with your father again. 

“Well then you better make it quick, because I will not tolerate this behaviour when you’re still living in this house.” And that was the end of the call, your mother didn’t even gave you the chance to answer and you knew, that the little happiness experienced was soon to be over. You sighned. 

“I assume you need to go?”, Hyungwon said while pushing his cup aside. 

“Yeah I do, but maybe we can meet up in the next days?”, you didn’t fully know where your bravery was coming from, but you know that you wanted to spend more time with Hyungwon, because as selfish as it sounded, you were happy when you were with him. 

“Sounds like a plan.”, he said, while you were packing your thing and putting that violin case on your back. 

“Okay, I guess I see you then!”, you smiled and waved goodbye, before leaving the coffee shop, but the moment you stepped outside you noticed the heavy rain. For a moment you stopped, knowing full well that you’d be soaked until you were at the subway station. The moment you decided to just make a run for it, the door opened and Hyungwon opened an umberella. 

“I thought I might accompany you, besides that, how do you want to meet up, when we haven’t even shared our phone numbers?”, he said with a smile and you bit your lip trying hard not to do the same, while failing miserably. 

“I failed to consider that.”, you answered honestly. 

“Well that is why you have me.”, he said and you slowly began to walk. Enjoying the moments of happiness, despite you literally being in the rain. 


End file.
